I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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