Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
