have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
