she looked like the bat from fern gully.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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