stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
