I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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