bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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