the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
