Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
