walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
