K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
