Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Randomize
