Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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