Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I'm really into asian looking animals
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Found the puke drawer
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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