Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
