butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
