I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
