Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
