Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
