i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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