dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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