Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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