Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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