Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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