He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
