FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
