There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
