You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
