would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
