the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
