i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
