4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Randomize
