mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
