Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
