gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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