If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
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