I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
