he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize
