I'm drive I can fine osifer
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
