you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I just found puke in my bra..
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize