i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
