this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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