This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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