i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
