i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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