Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
