yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
