i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
