There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
