Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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