Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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