The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
