I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
