Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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