Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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