i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
