in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
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