i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
