We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
