Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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