I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
