6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
